How to tell children about death?
Death is easier understood when a child takes care of something living, say a pet (dog, cat, bird) or a plant. Daily care, such as giving the pet food and water, and giving him a bath, is part of the responsibilities of the young child. It may happen that the pet may have an accident and dies. Seize the moment to help the child understand why and what may have caused the death. Older children who have cared for a pet will even have a burial ritual, as they have seen in movies or in real life situational.
I look forward to the publication of a set of books by an uncle- priest. It is all about understanding death, from a child’s point of view. He compares death to simple things that children can relate to, such as: a balloon drifting, a butterfly freed from its cocoon, or being carried to bed to sleep and waking to a new and beautiful place. With simple explanations, death becomes a part of our life experience.
Children ask, “Why do we have to die?” There are many reasons and children will tell you as they see it. Some of them may not understand the biological processes involved, but they will give you the most surprising answers.
Although death of a loved one is a very sad thing, it can be seen as a part of life. It might be hard to explain that in death, there is life afterward. But you can explain the good memories of the loved one and how we can continue to remember him or her that way. Recalling good times with the loved one can be a central part of the “wake”. This was done in our own family. The young ones shared their story of how the departed relative was a loving, funny, and even strict person. This evoked tears of laughter as well as sadness. Soothing music was also played throughout the day. It was a pleasant experience all together for the very young ones.