Lady Mind

One consequence is that our children’s vocabulary has become limited to simple common everyday language. Television shows in general, do not allow the child to figure out several solutions to a problem. More often than not, the story line is already set. Reading, on the other hand, develops language skills and the use of symbols and details.
Another passive form is rote learning. This takes place in many schools in the country. Children have to memorize instead of being given a chance to seek knowledge in various ways. Tests and re-tests on facts do not give the child a chance to think through complex ideas or concepts.
To resolve this, one need not pull out the TV set from the living room, rather, set time each day to encourage reading at home. It need not be books alone, because magazines and newspapers contain interesting stories too. If these reading materials are placed strategically in areas most frequented by the children, chances are, these will be read.

Young children have shown greater success in achievement tests when they have had opportunities to explore and become critical thinkers (Glickman, 1979). A wise teacher will often pause during storytelling and ask the child what he thinks of the plot or, leading questions such as, “What do you think will happen next?” There is never a wrong answer — as the child ventures to create and re-create his own version of the story.
An infant of 6 months can be read to. As he starts to focus on objects and becomes familiar with members of his family, the infant can be exposed to colorful picture books. As he gets older and can sit upright, big picture books become just right for mama or papa to prop before the child — as the two read and look at the picture. Glossy pictures may seem more attractive but they can be glaring to the eyes. Matte-finished books are preferable in this case.
Books should be “baby-handled”. Turning pages is always fun for the toddler. Reading with a theatrical flair is quite important too. Freddie Santos, a seasoned stage actor, advises adults to give each character
“voice” role; perhaps, a gruff, deep voice for a giant and a lilting, soft one for a little girl.

Death is easier understood when a child takes care of something living, say a pet (dog, cat, bird) or a plant. Daily care, such as giving the pet food and water, and giving him a bath, is part of the responsibilities of the young child. It may happen that the pet may have an accident and dies. Seize the moment to help the child understand why and what may have caused the death. Older children who have cared for a pet will even have a burial ritual, as they have seen in movies or in real life situational.
I look forward to the publication of a set of books by an uncle- priest. It is all about understanding death, from a child’s point of view. He compares death to simple things that children can relate to, such as: a balloon drifting, a butterfly freed from its cocoon, or being carried to bed to sleep and waking to a new and beautiful place. With simple explanations, death becomes a part of our life experience.
Children ask, “Why do we have to die?” There are many reasons and children will tell you as they see it. Some of them may not understand the biological processes involved, but they will give you the most surprising answers.
Although death of a loved one is a very sad thing, it can be seen as a part of life. It might be hard to explain that in death, there is life afterward. But you can explain the good memories of the loved one and how we can continue to remember him or her that way. Recalling good times with the loved one can be a central part of the “wake”. This was done in our own family. The young ones shared their story of how the departed relative was a loving, funny, and even strict person. This evoked tears of laughter as well as sadness. Soothing music was also played throughout the day. It was a pleasant experience all together for the very young ones.

If we harbor any doubts about our quest for self-actualization, recognition from others can reassure us. The need for recognition may lead us to place great value on trophies or awards as tangible symbols of success. Speakers who recognize the accomplishments of listeners and the institutions or groups they represent may also satisfy this need. This can be especially helpful when speakers are not well known or are uncertain of acceptance.
Self-actualization is so complex that it touches other needs as well. There is, for example, an important “play instinct” in humans that may express itself in the needs for enjoyment and variety. All work and rio play will make Jill about as dull as Jack, and will retard the full expression of our humanity. College students, inundated as they are with tests and papers and speeches to prepare, not to mention full- or part-time jobs, are not exempt from this need. If you can show listeners how to put some fun into their lives, you can be sure of their attention.
As for variety, too much of anything—even a good thing—can be dull. The need for variety can include a longing for adventure, a desire to do something different or exciting, or a yen to travel to exotic places. Offer listeners something different, a topic out of the ordinary, or a different point of view on a familiar subject, and you will be rewarded with their attention.

For many adults, especially those who hang on to dear life, squeezing the most they can get out of it, death is a tragic and sad ending. The interpretation of death varies from culture to culture, religions included. It can range from being solenm and sad to being a fiesta, as we sometimes witness in our culture.
A typical person “wake” is a gathering of long lost friends and relatives, staying on till late in the evening to chat and eat. The loss of a loved one does not seem so painful because of this support system we call dam qyan. It can also become a festive atmosphere when tables are set up for “mahjong” or some other betting game. In one popular local film, a scene at the cemetery showed the members of a family grinning for a photo session, and beside them was the coffe raised so that the departed could be seen too. It is comical. But do children see death this way?
What does the child experience when he or she is carried over the casket, in the belief that the dead will not return to haunt the living? This is sometimes surprising or even frightening to the child. Do parents explain why this is done, or are they too absorbed in carrying on the traditionto even think about how the child will react? Oftentimes adults find it difficult to talk about death and what it means to them. Young children can understand difficult topics such as death especially if their homes encourage open discussions. When a parent tells the child to keep quiet and not talk about death (or about sex or pregnancy, for that matter) then the child is left in limbo, not understanding what this phase of life is all about. Then the child seeks answers from others and more likely than not, the information given is incorrect. It is better that they learn about these important issues from their parents.

Leo Lion is 74 years old, quite elderly for a well-known author very good children’s books. He says he does not know much about children, and yet, his children’s books appeal to both young and old.
The author of Little Blue, Yellow Blue, Inch l,j Inch, and several other books puts it this way, “the fact is that I really don’t make books children at all. I make them for that part of us, of myself, and of friends, which has never changed, that part which is still a child” (Lionni, 1964). Doing something silly, being adventurous, trying something new — bring out the child in us. Moments like these are captured in many popular children’s books. These books are just waiting to be read. Unfortunately, it seems that there are few takers among our young Filipino readers.
In the recently concluded Seminar Workshop for Librarian initiated by the Philippine Board on Books for Young People, a fact surfaced that books are just too expensive these days. A more disturbing fact was that the reading habit is not as consciously developed among our Filipino children as it should be. Comic books seem to attract the youngsters more than storybooks. Two factors observed to have contributed to the low interest in reading were television viewing and rote learning in schools. More and more, find children watching television at home for at least 3 to 4 hours a day. As a result, less time is spent for family interaction as well as for leisure reading.

Friends and Family. People value friendship and family ties. Friends and family help define who we are, warm us with affection, and make the world a less lonely place. The importance of these needs is demonstrated by the intense feelings of homesickness many people develop when they move away from the support of family and friends. They may feel isolated, diminished, or uprooted, and may even develop physical illnesses.
In an era that advocates strengthening “family values,” it is not surprising that we heard many speeches like Marie D’Aniello’s tribute to her family. Other speakers praised the importance of both traditional and nontraditional families. The importance of family can express itself in traditions and rituals.

Where in the world were their parents all this time? Why were the boys just left with the nanny who struggled to control the two? It was like chasing mice! The boy would slip from her hands only to irritate other people. One then begins to wonder how far we should allow our children to “be free and curious”. Another relevant question here is, who teaches the child about “respect for others”? Is it the parent or the nanny?
“If I were the parent, I would have spanked the kid or taken him outside for a scolding. . .“ — this must have been a thought that ran through the minds of the church goers. Unfortunately, that would have been
easier said than done. The kid himself vehemently refused to budge from his place, until the priest himself took him aside. Apparently, the parents allowed the child to move about freely during the mass as he tried on 2 separate occasions to get near the overhead projector, with no one holding him back.
Curiosity is a normal thing for young children and sometimes even for the old. But the old can wait, young ones usually can’t. They have to touch and even smell what piques their curiosity. Did his parents ever communicate with their child? It looked like it was the nanny who was responsible for the child. For such a situation, the parent should have come forward and pulled the child gently aside.

There was this child at Sunday mass, about 4 or 5 years old, who was very curious about the overhead projector. When the projector was lighted with the lyrics of the mass hymn, this boy would run to the machine and look curiously. Before long, he was touching the knobs and de-focusing the projector.
Two Sundays later, the boy did the same thing, this time touching the transparency. It was no longer funny or cute to me, the on looker. When it was time for communion and people were lining up, he insisted on staying in front of the priest and not budging at all. His poor nanny tried to grab hold of him, which only made the boy more insistent, even shouting at her.
I managed to come close enough to the nanny and told her to “just let the boy go”. It did help for a while, but not for long as the boy went up front and faced the priest. This time, the priest, now visibly irritated, held the boy on the shoulder and brought him to the side. It was only then that this curious boy stayed by the steps of the altar sulking and refusing to go with his nanny. What happened next was his younger brother, dressed in the same colored T-shirt, came up front and made a “scene” too. Two in the family — that’s a lot to handle!